It is another lonely Saturday night at my train station. This gives me five long, basically uninterrupted hours to think. We all know how that goes. Tonight, I am listening to the Spin Doctors' Pandora station and as I type that I am laughing at the scene in Bad Teacher when Cameron Diaz says, "I freaking love internet radio!"
Anyways, getting back to where I going with this. Listening to this station brings back a lot of memories. Some good, some not so good. I try to live my life in the no regrets way. My favorite teacher in high school used to post a quote on her blackboard and one really stuck with me. It was, "The bitterest tears shed over graves are for deeds left undone and words left unsaid." I try to let everyone around me know how I truly feel about them. I don't want to cry over someone's grave because I never told them I loved them.
That is why I try not to regret anything. I also try to remember that everything I have done is because I wanted it done. So while sometimes I look back and shake my head at my younger self, I also thank her for shaping me to who I am. I often wonder about what my life would be like if I never made certain mistakes, or if my life's journey never led me down a certain road.
Like what would have happened if I never got in to that car accident my junior year of high school. Would I have accepted a basketball scholarship in a different state? Would I have left Boston permanently? Would I have died and killed three other people in the next accident I was involved in? I know the reason I was in that first car accident that destroyed my basketball career because later in life I would have to get behind the wheel because my friend was too drunk to drive, and I would be adamant that the passengers wear their seat belts. Thus, saving their lives when that car flipped three times.
It is things like this that make me think that there is no such thing as a coincidence. Only fate, and fates' tests. I think if you do not learn from your mistakes you are tempting your fate.
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