This morning, and well, if I am being honest, late last night I decided it would be a great idea to take a pregnancy test. Why? Well I had two consecutive nights of dreams that I peed on a stick and got positive results. So that has to be a sign right? Obviously, because I am so flipping psychic it has to be true right?
Wrong. I thought the OPKs were depressing when they were super white, well that was nothing compared to how ridiculously white those pregnancy tests were. If you stared straight into a solar eclipse it would not be as completely blinding as what stared back at me this morning.I know it may be early, and I know nothing is for sure until my monthly bill gets here, but it is still so defeating.
I did well today in the sense that I didn't completely break down. Just a few tear ups and fallen tears came over me. This morning was tough because I was all alone, but I got through it. Why? Because I am fucking tough, that's why. Or, at least that is what I am choosing to believe for the time being.
Tomorrow is a new day, that will bring its own set of struggles, and I am prepared to face them. I let myself be sad today, but tomorrow, I move on. Tomorrow I take steps forward, and don't look back. I don't have a lot of control in this process, but I can control how I allow it to affect my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment