Has been successful in the sense that the Clomid made me ovulate. I ovulated earlier than last cycle. I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing. I will start testing next week sometime probably. I am not super optimistic, as I have said, but I am more than willing to be pleasantly surprised. I have been hoping, praying, wishing on stars, and doing just about everything I can think of.
While we were in New Hampshire, I bought a tile to put up on the window in our bedroom. It had a fertility symbol on it. Yes, I realize I am grasping at straws here, but you really cant blame me. I have been watching a lot of Supernatural lately. (Possible spoiler alerts if you haven't watched the series)
A lot of people in the show make deals with demons in order to bring back loved ones, or get something they want. I don't think that I would ever make a deal with a demon, but I can see why some people would. In desperate times people will make rash and desperate decisions. Impulse is not something you can usually ignore. Most demons give you ten years before they come knocking at the door for your soul.
So, I wonder, for whom would I trade my soul? Is it my unborn child? No, because even though I
don't have children yet, if I was ever offered a deal like that, I would like to think that I would decline it so that my child would not grow up motherless. I would put my unborn child before myself. Isn't that what a mother or a parent does? Puts their own dreams and wishes aside for the benefit of the child?
Now, I know this is an unlikely scenario, but it gives me a little bit of faith in myself, makes me happy to know I would do right by my children. Even if I don't have them yet.
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