Onward to 3

So we are officially going through our third medicated cycle. This is our last cycle without further intervention. Once again, I am not super optimistic. I just feel like if everything is in place and has been consistently for two straight cycles, this one isn't going to be any different. The logical side of me knows that if you are ovulating normally it can still take up to a year to get pregnant. Unfortunately, in this process my emotional side is taking the reins.

I have been trying to focus on different things. Like my book. I have been brainstorming a lot, and I need to start bringing a notebook with me so I can jot things down when inspiration strikes. The more and more I think about things, the more I am getting emotionally involved in my characters' lives. Pretty awesome.

I have to remember to start going out and doing things on my days off and not focus on my sorrow all of the time. Even though I am in this horribly shitty position, it doesn't mean that I can't seek joy from elsewhere. That is what I intend on doing.

Sometimes it is hard to get away from it. I know we have other options if this cycle fails, and I guess if I don't have any hope for myself, I have hope and science and a belief that God will be blessing me. And yes, the two can go together. I hope that I will be able to shake out of this rut that I am in. I have faith that I can. I know I can't worry about what will be in a month, but it is so hard not to, but this month I am going to focus on all the good in my life and just live in the moment. I will worry about next steps when it is time to.